Whilst the mainstream media would have us believe that teenagers are being sexualized at a younger and younger age these days, the truth is that there are just as many people deciding to put their first sexual experience on hold. There are a number of different reasons for this – younger people are busier with work (particularly finding it), they are much knowledgeable when it comes to STDs and unwanted pregnancy, and they are just more comfortable waiting.
How to Date a Virgin
The question is, what are you supposed to do if you end up dating somebody in their twenties (or older) who is still a virgin? The question may be moot when both parties are learning together, but it is an important one for sexually experience partners who want to be sure they treat their lover right. So, the very first step should be to establish that this is the case. If you are ready to have sex, you should be happy to talk about sex.
You want to avoid being patronizing and constantly asking whether your partner is sure that they are ready to have sex (especially if they are not in their teens), but you should be very aware of their right to change their mind at any time. This really does mean at any time – before, after, or during penetration. It is imperative that you respect their personal choices.
Creating a Loving Environment
As the intercourse itself, the best advice is to simply take it slow. If possible, try not to look at the encounter as an obstacle to overcome, so that you can start having better sex. In fact, it should feel like a new experience for both of you, because after all, this is the first time that you will be intimate with one another. There should be no pressure, no rush to get to the ‘main act,’ and no pushing of boundaries.
For the vast majority of women, there is a degree of discomfort and pain involved with first time sex. This differs from woman to woman (there are some girls who experience no pain) and it is imperative that you acknowledge and work around this. It is going to take time for the sensation to feel really good, so just relax into and enjoy the intimate contact. If there is an orgasm, great. If not, you can work on it next time. The real aim is to get your partner feeling comfortable and happy with penetration.
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